Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
