ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
