If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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