Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
