p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
we're so committed to being not committed
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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