Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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