you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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