I'm laying in your front yard are you home
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
