i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
