He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
