sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
