so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
