I got chris browned last night
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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