we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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