I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
wow bdsm is so cute
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
