You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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