Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
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