Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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