He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
i think i just naturally attract stoners
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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