I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
