Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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