matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
People in love make me want to vomit
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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