and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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