the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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