hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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