Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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