If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Randomize
