We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
