I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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