I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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