so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
