Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I need a beard to bite.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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