Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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