The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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