So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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