my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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