I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
