thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
it glows. i had to have it.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
