I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize