It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
porn star boner night. come get it.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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