I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
