Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
