Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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