Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you

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(267): census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you http://tfl.nu/5ryg

Replies (23) Good night (893) Bad night (2013)
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(713): View more from Texas

I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...

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(713): I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you... http://tfl.nu/rwlo

Replies (19) Good night (2528) Bad night (571)
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(513): View more from Ohio

He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma

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(513): He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma http://tfl.nu/x4vk

Replies (16) Good night (845) Bad night (3672)
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(251): View more from Alabama

if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?

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(251): if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me? http://tfl.nu/7eei

Replies (26) Good night (6872) Bad night (700)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora

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(860): She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora http://tfl.nu/wtuh

Replies (19) Good night (4630) Bad night (1717)
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(217): View more from Illinois

I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.

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(217): I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos. http://tfl.nu/dg53

Replies (10) Good night (3235) Bad night (1325)
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(360): View more from Washington

Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school

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(360): Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school http://tfl.nu/4t6a

Replies (10) Good night (2281) Bad night (696)
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(613): View more from Ontario

No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.

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(613): No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal. http://tfl.nu/2rsl

Replies (6) Good night (1568) Bad night (1057)
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(941): View more from Florida

So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic

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(941): So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic http://tfl.nu/vgkg

Replies (8) Good night (1523) Bad night (708)
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(520): View more from Arizona

That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.

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(520): That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky. http://tfl.nu/gdoe

Replies (2) Good night (324) Bad night (1012)
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(765): View more from Indiana

My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic

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(765): My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic http://tfl.nu/h32f

Replies (0) Good night (545) Bad night (261)
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(309): View more from Illinois

Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?

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(309): Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety? http://tfl.nu/ikg5

Replies (2) Good night (578) Bad night (267)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?

(231): View more from Michigan

Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.

(401): View more from Rhode Island

I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.

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(401): Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here? (231): Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds. (401): I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window. http://tfl.nu/vqmu

Replies (0) Good night (846) Bad night (231)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.

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(918): Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art. http://tfl.nu/zfiz

Replies (2) Good night (575) Bad night (183)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.

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(609): I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack. http://tfl.nu/ai2z

Replies (1) Good night (1198) Bad night (212)

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