I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
