so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
