i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life