I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
