U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
