C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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