8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
