i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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