Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
