Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
