Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
