The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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