He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
