I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
