ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
