so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
