Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
