Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Houston, we have a squirter
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
